Good Grief! A Peanuts Halloween

Cute, cackling witches and white whimsical ghosts.  Black cats and black bats.  Bright orange pumpkins and glowing jack-o-lanterns.  The boys are enchanted with Halloween and the fun of earning a bagful of candy by simply negotiating with the famous opener, "Trick-or-treat!"  I am sure my love for Halloween has rubbed off on them.

And there is a whole lot of love for Charlie Brown in our home.  The boys are ecstatic when they can start watching "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown."  We would probably watch it a total of over 30 times before Halloween actually arrives.  Last year we decided to immortalize our favorite holiday icons into our jack-o-lanterns.

Not surprisingly, these are on the docket for this year's costumes.  I can't wait to see my two boys as the adorable classic duo of Charlie Brown and Snoopy.  A long search for a white sweatsuit for Dylan's Snoopy costume turns up nothing and I have to special order one.  The days of my childhood where you could find Hanes sweats in every color at superstores have certainly passed.

I was a lucky kid whose mom each year brought us to the fabric shop and chose a pattern to craft custom Halloween costumes.  I remember the boredom as she flipped through the McCall's pattern books and would lob ideas at me with each page as she licked her finger and delicately flipped to the next page.  I can still smell the stale air of the fabric shop and clearly remember the vibrant colors of the bolts of fabrics lining the shelves.  A rainbow of cotton, wool, and satin staring at me.  Although I was bored, I would be elated when she found the right costume pattern and chose the best fabric and we would head home.  Childhood boredom was minor in the quest to have a completely amazing costume.

As if there is a correlation between the "better" the costume, the more candy you would get.  My mom would spend a couple weeks intermittently working on my costume.  One year a dead-ringer for Dorothy from the wizard of Oz with the powder blue gingham and sparkly red ruby slippers.  Another year a little witch, coyly looking from under the brim of her hat.  And another year the Pink Panther with super cool homemade mask.

My mother inspired me.  I want my kids to reflect on Halloween and remember the thrill of thinking up a the costume idea and then using creativity and imagination to create it.  Although I am not skilled behind a sewing machine like my mother, I still decide that Charlie and Snoopy are doable.

I carefully plan and begin sculpting the possibilities in my head.  In early September I start searching for components like a yellow polo which I add my own painted bold black zig-zag.  I buy a play WWII aviator hat and some goggles.  I make Dylan a little red fleece scarf for Snoopy, the Red Baron.  I convert an old pair of Mikey's Crocs into white Snoopy paws.  Finally, the one specialty I will add will be homemade masks.

I carefully draw Charlie Brown's face and Snoopy's face on foam board.  I cut each out precisely and add layers of paint.  Bright fleshy peach for Charlie and stark white for his beagle.  Then bold, uneven black lines completes the legendary cartoon characters' mugs on my kitchen table.  I feel like I am staring these Blockheads right in the face.  The kids will surely love them.

I was wrong.

As I would spend the following weeks leading up to Halloween trying to convince Dylan to wear his costume and he would consistently run the other way screaming every time I would show him the white fleece sweatpants with a white tail sewn in.  And continually negotiating with Michael that, no, he would not be a punching, fighting, laser-shooting Optimus Prime for Halloween.  He had already agreed to Charlie...  and his costume was now finished.  Sigh.

I love Halloween.  I love the decorations.  I love making the kids' costumes.  I love that the boys love watching the "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown".  I love the amber colors of the season.  I love pumpkin patches.  I love it all.  However, I have learned to HATE one aspect of this time of year...  even all the way through Christmas time.  Two words.

Peanut.  Allergy.

And in our case, treenut allergy too.

In a house where the kids need as many calorie-dense options as possible, I continually struggle with the fact that we can't have peanut butter in the house.  That the boys can't even eat a simple peanut butter sandwich.  When Dylan was a baby and before we knew he had an allergy to peanuts and nuts, I used to feed Michael bowls of peanut butter with a spoon.  He would finish and ask for more.  I felt so happy that this was an easy way to "pack it in."  And happy that it was a better fat than some junk he could eat.

I have a very clear image of Dylan rolling a peanut butter jar around the floor of our apartment when we lived in Bethesda, Maryland.  It was his favorite "toy".  Oh, the irony.

Dylan broke out in hives as a baby from 4 months on.  We couldn't explain it, nor could the doctors, and chalked it up exposing him to new pureed baby foods.  By the time he was 12 months, his pediatrician suggested I try peanut butter with him.  After all, we didn't have a family history of food allergies and those hives were on all accounts, flukes.   The pediatrician told me that they were starting to recommend trying peanut butter sooner than doctors had previously suggested and that Dylan (having Cystic Fibrosis) was a perfect candidate to try peanut butter early...every little option counts in a high-calorie diet.

The day after the visit with the doctor, I had finished feeding Dylan his lunch and decided it was worth a try.  I put a dab on Dylan's lips and he sat smacking the peanut butter.  Then I handed him a half a Nutter Butter cookie and he LOVED IT.  As he began eating it, all smiles, I noticed his chin and neck began to look red...  Then rashy...  Then full-blown break out in hives from his little mouth all the way down his neck and back to his ears.  A red itchy rash covered his baby skin.  I was so startled and rushed to get Benadryl and call the pediatrician's office.  So much for things being easy...

It all made sense why Dylan had broken out in hives as a baby.  I was still breastfeeding him and I was eating peanuts in my diet.  He was probably reacting to the peanuts after my body metabolized it and passed it on through the milk.  We were now part of the estimated 0.5% of the population with a peanut allergy in our home.

My brain is a mental contortionist trying to decide if a product is safe to bring home because of Dylan's peanut allergy. Is it worth enough to bring home by ticking through the list of will the boys like it?  Will they eat it?  Is it nutritious?  Does it have a lot of fat?  Protein?  Fiber?  Will they need to take enzymes with this product and if so, what I can give them with this product that does offer high calories?  It's always a 20 question process.

I miss peanut butter.  I miss Reese's peanut butter cups and Almond Joys.  I miss Snickers bars and Peanut M&M's.  I miss sneaking a few mini candy bars this time of year with no remorse.

Now, it's not even an option.

Michael and Dylan need a truckload of calories.  EVERY DAY.  Their little bodies can't fully absorb fat, protein and all the vitamins and minerals they need.  They are also burning calories at a warp speed rate due to inflammation in their bodies because of Cystic Fibrosis.  I have heard that they need an estimated 50% more calories than the average kid.

Halloween should be the PERFECT time to load calories in.  I know, I know.  Not just sugar calories, but we also do our fair share of healthy veggies and lean protein.  But we never skimp on sauces, dips, oils, butter, etc.  Clearly, Daddy and I need to consider moderation and hit the gym, but the boys can indulge.

Okay, now here's the screaming rant...  all moms have 'em and here's mine this week.  And here it goes, look the other way, there is no self-pride left...

I MISS PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!

A simple peanut butter sandwich.  Peanut butter in chocolate.  Peanut donuts!!!!  Honey roasted nuts.  Beer nuts.  Spicy peanut dressing on salads.  I could go on like the guy in Forrest Gump with shrimp.  I'll spare you.

And I feel on overload when the kids come home with bags of candy and I have to sift through them and eliminate half of the candy and say, "Sorry, it's not safe."  What the hell.  In a parallel universe, if we didn't have a nut allergy in our house, I would totally be stealing some of this candy when the kids were sleeping.  I just want to be a selfish glutton for once.

So, as I end my rant, I ask each of you reading to please eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for me on Halloween.  I will probably be eating Smarties or Candy Corn.  Groan.

But one thing is for sure, I'll bet Charles Schultz didn't intend on Snoopy needing an Epi-Pen when he created the Peanuts gang.